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leximakara:

hollandmartinn:

r0ki:

thatrockerdude:

chabothedino:

cryforce:

thewriterkid:

Fun things to say when someone tells you they’re going to go to the bathroom:

  • Stay safe
  • Congratulations
  • That’s what they all say
  • Different strokes for different folks
  • I hope you have the time of your life
  • But you have so much to live for
  • Please explain
  • think of me
  • Don’t fall in
  • I’ll alert the media
  • Good luck
  • Have fun
  • Mention my name and you’ll get a good seat

•Hope everything comes out okay

chasmofsarcasm:

how to tell if someone is really bisexual:

  • if a true bisexual utters their name backwards, it will send them back to their home dimension for a minimum of 90 days. 
  • fire type bisexuals will always be able to learn the move solarbeam, unless they are flareon. 
  • biologically, bisexuals are incapable of going down stairs.
  • some bisexuals are unable to cast a shadow, though this is currently up for debate

ianoshea:

Sometimes I wonder what people think of my blog when they follow me and I’m like new to their dash like I wonder if they’re like “god she’s annoying she posts so many text posts” and like I wonder how many followers they think I have and what kind of stereotypes they build up about me in the beginning.

Reblog this if you have ever attempted any of the following while you were alone:

wise-girl-and-seaweed-brain:

xdominoe:

loki-is-our-god:

castiel-homo-of-the-lord:

vorticity007:

zombieirish:


-Waterbending

-Earthbending

-Firebending

-Airbending

-Using the force

-Telekenisis

-Flying

-The Matrix 

-Alchemy

-Kamehameha

-Going Super Saiyan

-Jutsu Hand Signs

-Spells from Harry Potter

-Shapeshifting

-Breaking the 66 seals

-Opening purgartory

-Turning into a green rage monster

-Being a synthesized voice program

-Getting a bunch of bitches to kneel

image

Bitch please I do these in public

(Source: zudilio)

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

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